


Secrets Shared

by Jen425



Series: For The Republic [19]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Anakin is STILL not in a very good place right now, Anakin is just a mess, Complicated Relationships, Conversation with a capital C, Gen, Healing, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Jedi Apprentice references, Multiple times, Obi-Wan is trying, Padme is trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-21 17:10:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13745538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jen425/pseuds/Jen425
Summary: He knew what was coming, soon, especially after what he’d revealed the night before.A Talk. Centered on everything that he’s kept from them…Ugh. This was going to be miserable. With both of them there, he'd be trapped. Nowhere else to run to.(Not even Palpa-Sidious to turn to. It was a good thing, he knew, but he also knows that he'll always regret the loss of the man that he had known, regardless of the man that Vader had been a slave of, that he, Anakin Skywalker, had killed twice over.)





	Secrets Shared

**Author's Note:**

> Uh... this really isn't my best work? Also, this was written during the initial boom of ideas for this universe, so...
> 
> yeah.

Anakin awoke in a position both familiar and strange. Padme, his beautiful wife, was curled into his arms, and her warmth was a familiar feeling, something that he always adored. Obi-Wan, the other half of his soul, as Padme was for his heart, was pressed against his back, body on top of the covers as if he hadn’t meant to fall asleep there. His presence, too, was familiar, reaching back as far as to when Anakin had been a new Padawan, still unsure and looking to his Master for comfort that he had later learned the elder man had never received himself.  
  
They’re both still asleep. Good. Between the Senate, the Council, and himself, he'd be surprised if they had gotten more than seven hours of sleep in the past two days. Oh Force this was nice. He’d been so stupid to push them away when it was him that they were comforting, and it was wonderful to wake up like this, even if he knew what was coming, soon, especially after what he’d revealed the night before.

  
A Talk. Centered on everything that he’s kept from them…

  
Ugh. This was going to be miserable. With both of them there, he'd be trapped. Nowhere else to run to.  
  
(Not even Palpa- _Sidious_ to turn to. It was a good thing, he knew, but he also knows that he'll always regret the loss of the man that he had known, regardless of the man that Vader had been a slave of, that he, Anakin Skywalker, had killed twice over.)  
  
Thankfully, however, that was for later.  
  
For now, his family was here.  
  
(Not Ahsoka, though. She was too young to be his support in all this. ( _Force_ he’s a horrible Master. She needs his support, and he’s just... falling apart, over and over.))  
  
(He had just been so _tired_ last night. His body _ached_ , and the Council was _stupid_ , and there were _too many contradictions everywhere_ ... and then he’d woken up, seen them _there_ , and… he’d felt their _worry_ , their _love…_  
  
It had felt like coming home.)  
  
  
  
Eventually, of course, the time came. They’d eaten breakfast, and Ahsoka was out spending her leave with some of the men, and Anakin knew, he _knew_ , that this was going to be a disaster.

 

(A disaster a long time coming.)

 

Silence fills the room, and Anakin _almost_ considers just bluntly starting up this Talk, but he’s not quite that self-deprecating, and definitely not that capable of pretending that he’s okay.

 

So, he waits.

 

Eventually, someone breaks the silence. Surprisingly, it’s Obi-Wan.

 

“Did you truly trust me so little?”

 

 _Oh…_ that was a hard one. Sidious had certainly not wanted him to, but Anakin had still made the conscious choice to hide things from Obi-Wan all the way back to day one. He…

 

“I don’t know,” he says, eventually. “When we met, it had been obvious that you didn’t like me, and, by the time I did start to trust you…”

 

Sidious had already become his closest confidant.

 

Obi-Wan sighs.

 

“I know, Anakin, but… I’ve _told you_ how hard it was to get Qui-Gon to accept me, and I’m still not sure if he _ever_ truly wanted me… and then you came, and...”

 

Obi-Wan trailed off. Padme looked surprised.

 

“It’s hard to believe that Master Jinn was like that.”

 

Obi-Wan shrugs.

 

“We had a rocky relationship, but he _was_ my Master, and he was… very similar to Anakin. He always put his loved ones first, always either over-exaggerated his faults when it hurt someone he loved, or pushed all of the blame away from himself… yes, he had his faults, but who doesn’t?”

 

Anakin just lets himself scoff.

 

“Don’t listen to a word he said. Who abandons a 14-year-old alone in a war zone?”

 

“What!”

 

“Anakin!”

 

Whoa! Obi-Wan looks… _really_ upset. _Force_ he’s really put his foot in it this time. Obi-Wan hadn’t even personally _told_ him about Melinda/Daan, he’d just found out when he went to learn about his Master’s past after Obi-Wan had tried to connect with him about… his time before the Order. Oh _kriff_. He’s done a lot more than put his foot in his mouth this time.

 

“I’m sorry, Obi-Wan, I just…” Anakin laughs, “I was angry when I learned it, of course, but… I’ve _never_ left Ahsoka alone on the front until…” he trails off, unable to continue, and he barely represses a shudder at the memories.

 

( _Stripped. That was the word for it. Reduce to nothing_ piece _by_ piece _._ )

 

“I just… I realized how little I actually knew about you, and then I… I told… I told Sidious, and… and he…  he convinced me that… that you wouldn’t want me to know, that you would be mad, which, honestly, you have every right to be…” he trailed off, “I’m sorry.”

 

Obi-Wan sighs.

 

“Anakin,” he says, “I will admit that it hurts to know that you would pry into my past without permission, but… in retrospect, I did much the same, and without the luxury not to force it from the source.”

 

(Anakin forces himself not to shudder at the wording, and hides the wave of irrational fear that fills him at them behind his shields.)

 

Obi-Wan and Padme both notice anyway.

 

“Anakin…” Obi-Wan says, and Padme’s eyes say just as much.

 

Anakin shrugs.

 

“It’s stupid,” he says, “I know what you meant.”

 

“It’s _not_ stupid,” Padme says angrily, and Anakin wonders what he’s done wrong, “Ani, I’d worry far more if things like this _didn’t_ affect you.”

 

At this, she shoots a look at Obi-Wan as if _daring_ him to contradict her. (There’s a story there… another night.) Obi-Wan raises his arms.

 

“No,” he says, “We are in agreement on this, Senator.”

 

Then, he turns to Anakin.

 

“I wanted so very much to have you back that I… that I almost lost you forever.”

 

And there it was, the elephant in the room. Anakin sighs, looking down.

 

“Well,” he says, “That danger, at least, is past. I… well, it was strange, but I found something that I could never have, here, while drifting in the Force.”

 

Obi-Wan sighs, and Padme says, “You’re going to have to give us more than that, Ani, especially now.”

 

Anakin closes his eyes, unsure how to describe the impossibility of his experience.

 

“I spoke to people from the timeline that I prevented,” he says, “And they offered me truths that I could not attain, here and now. It’s… hard to explain.”

 

 _“You didn’t let me die,”_ Luke had told him.

 

 _“You will never be Darth Vader anymore than my own would return to it,”_ Obi-Wan had promised.

 

It was forgiveness that he could never find in this life… and it had been given.

 

And Anakin smiles.

 

“They told me that I had done the impossible,” he says, and then he just… he tells them everything. Every secret that he’d kept just… spills out like a never-ending word-vomit. At some point they move to either side of him, rocks and anchors as he talks. When, finally, he’s done, nothing but silence fills the room, and, well, he’s looking down, but he can still feel their eyes on him.

 

“Stop it,” he tells them, “You didn’t know for a reason.”

 

Then, he smiles…

 

He’s home.

 

("Oh," Anakin says jokingly once conversation finally and eventually moves on, "By the way... Padme, did you already know that you were Pregnant?")

**Author's Note:**

> ...This story is more of a mess than Anakin. Oops.
> 
> (Also, YES!!!! I finally get to poke at Obi-Wan's issues and at Qui-Gon's terrible teaching and Finding skills! Yay!)
> 
> Find me on tumblr [@flaim-ita](https://flaim-ita.tumblr.com/)


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